I decided to participate in the Beginning, Middle and End Blogfest hosted by Kate Larkindale! Because blogfests are apparently my new favorite thing.
Now I know you’re supposed to post the beginning, middle and end of your WIP, but what if you don’t have an ending (or even a middle)? So I’ve decided to post from a short story still under shadow of the mighty revision hammer: SPACE MAN.
I generally don’t like the idea of posting my work online, as I am the nervous neurotic writer sort (if you think nervous neurotic is redundant, then you clearly do not understand the full extent of my neurotic nervousness), so basically I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone BIG-TIME.
But I wanted to participate, mainly to read other people’s entries. So here goes:
Beginning
In the summer of her thirteenth year, Lauren moved to a small town full of dead people.
Middle
That afternoon she took her break outside on the bench with Esta. Esta fanned herself with her hands and simpered, “I can’t stand this heat.” Lauren agreed although she did not understand why it was then that Esta wore a mink coat. Lauren wanted to curl up into a roly-poly bug, to turn her body into shadow, but the heat from her skin would only make the humidity worse. The hiss of cicadas sounded like steam rising from a pot.
End
Lauren leaned on her knees and gasped for air. The ground was soft and clay-like. She straightened and wind whipped her hair. Above her an airplane scarred blue sky with spiraling tracks of white clouds. The air smelled like earth.
***
Since this is a fairly long work (roughly 7000 words) I’m not sure what sense can be made out of context.
Actually, my chosen paragraphs feel naked without the rest of the story!
Annalise Green 
Kate Larkindale
/ September 1, 2011This is great! I want to know all about why she’s wearing mink when it’s hot. And I love the image of the plane scarring the sky.
kelda
/ September 1, 2011Amazing. I can get a real sense of the story from those thee excerpts. I, too, am loving the mink coat.
fuzzymango
/ September 1, 2011Gosh, I love them! The first sentence is an awesome hook, and the last paragraph is so evocative with all that sensory detail. Awesome job!
Sarah Pearson
/ September 1, 2011Oh yes! That first line is brilliant 🙂
Gail Shepherd
/ September 1, 2011You have some excellent sensory details here, Annalise, and your first line kills.
Amanda Rudd
/ September 1, 2011Ooh! I love this idea! I need to do this!
Amanda Rudd
/ September 1, 2011Of course, the description says to do it on Wed… I wonder if its too late to enter…
Crystal
/ September 1, 2011Very nice! I, too, am wondering about the mink coat and I LOVED the imagery in the end part. Good job! 🙂
jenniefire
/ September 1, 2011I really like your first line, it raises so many questions. Great snipit!
Lynda R Young
/ September 1, 2011That was great! I also loved the imagery in the end. Beautiful.
Annalise Green
/ September 2, 2011@everyone
Thank you! I’m really pleased you liked it! Thanks for taking the time to read. 🙂
Looking forward to reading everyone else’s tomorrow!
EArroyo
/ September 2, 2011Loved the first line. Well done!
Kristin
/ September 3, 2011That first line’s definitely a hook! I’ve only experienced the humming of cicadas during one week a few summers ago, and still remember the heat and humidity. That part brought back the memory very nicely.
Jessica Peter
/ September 3, 2011EXCELLENT first line. I was thinking “Oh, giving away the beginning, middle, and end would give away the story”. That was not true. It just gave away enough that I’m totally curious!
PS: Hi. I’m from the same Dystopian/Post-Apoc campaigner group as you!
Holly Vance
/ September 4, 2011What a great blog fest! Man, bummed I missed it. I have a serial killer novel that would have been perfect to pull from.
Just wanted to pop in and say “hi” to a fellow campaigner.